Here Comes Fun
I’m usually a pleasant and placid kind of guy. It’s extremely rare that I get angry about anything. However, at the moment I am mad. Fuming mad! And even with the copious amounts of valium and codeine I have consumed for my back I cannot keep calm. Plus, I think due to being constantly so restrained, I’ve earned the right to for at least one irrational rant. Now some of you may recalled that there is this super-motherfucking-ugly dude whom I see around the university frequently. Man, this guy burns me up so bad. Someone needs to put this fucker down to save our eyeballs from the agony of having to look at his face. Anyway, whilst walking around outside the library before I noticed that he was being very chummy with the ex-boyfriend of my ex-housemate’s little sister. A little sister whom, I might as well admit, I have something of an unhealthy obsession with (usually these things are called “crushes”, but let’s call a spade a spade here). Anyway, first of all, I have a real problem with ex-boyfriends. The concept riles me no end. There’s a certain type of female spider that after mating with the male spider she proceeds to eat him. I am not opposed in the slightest to this becoming a human trait as well. 96% of all break-ups are the dude’s fault. There needs to be some sort of harsh retribution. Anyway, this guy really shits me up, not only for the arrogance of dumping a girl of such immense beauty (come on!), but also because he is far too comfortable in his masculinity for my liking. And his whole “urban lumberjack” look pisses me off no end as well.To me, the male demeanour should be something akin to post-WW2 Germans. They should be extremely restrained and constantly aware of the implications of all their actions. A perpetual shame should shroud all of their activities. Anyway, aside from the ex-boyfriend, the fact that this monstrosity of a “human” (the motherfucking ugly dude), by being friendly with the ex-boyfriend, is only one or two degrees away from a girl whom occupies a significant percentage of my brain space, not only upsets me greatly, but frightens the fuck out of me as well. This dude shouldn’t even be on the same planet as this girl, let alone potentially in the same friendship circle. It’s just plain wrong, and it shouldn’t be tolerated.
